


In The Fold

by coldashes



Series: In Our Bedroom After The War [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Brief Pining, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21908593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldashes/pseuds/coldashes
Summary: During the rial run, Ren has to come to terms with who he was, is, and will be as well as the nature of the Order.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, past armitage hux/original male character
Series: In Our Bedroom After The War [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1576684
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	In The Fold

**Author's Note:**

> btw, Hux will be called Taidan in this verse except for during discussions of past actions. For some of you, this will probably put you off but 2016 kylux had the same issue lol

Taidan's ship is... well... to put it nicely... okay, Ren can't, it's fucking trash.

Not symmetrical, none of the pieces of the hull seem to match in material let alone colour, it's so shoddy and helped together that he can't even tell what type of ship it originally was. Taidan doesn't know either.

Stars, it makes the Falcon look like a luxury liner.

" _This_ is your ship?" Ren had asked when he'd first seen the slim mess of parts.

Taidan has crossed his arms, cocking an eyebrow. "Yes, and?"

Ren stares at him. "It looks like shit."

Taidan scoffs. "Perhaps, but it's fast, modified beyond what anyone would ever consider, and enough for me to fill my jobs."

"Still looks like shit," he mutters.

"Well, so do you," Taidan snaps. "Do you wanna come or not?"

He nods a little reluctantly. "Yeah, I do."

He can't explain it but... going with Taidan seems right, like they were meant to meet again. Of all the people from the Order, Taidan is certainly... not the one he'd expected to see again, let alone wanted to see. But standing beside him, it does feel as though this is the right path, a pull in his stomach as the Force urges him on.

Taidan leads the was onto the ship, the under belly of the craft a small, currently empty, loading bay but Ren has to hold his gasp as Taidan opens the doors to the main rooms.

Unlike the outside, the inside resembles more Hux's office on the Finalizer than anything else. It's clearly thrown together and forced to fit the space, the seams not quite as smooth as on a Destroyer, but there's grey durasteel paneling on the walls, a gleaming floor, a red Order banner above the table and chairs, both order standard. The kitchenette resembles that which Kylo had had in his quarters, even the doors to the cockpit and quarters were stripped from an old Destroyer.

"Taidan... this-"

"This is all I have left," Taidan sighs, thumbing the silver mug still standing on the table. Also Order standard. "I've collected everything I could these few years; it's popular in the right circles, you know. Not too hard to find. And the ship parts are more robust than any Republic scrap." he sniffs.

"So you've... built your own mini destroyer?"

Taidan looks back at him, a challenge in his eyes. "Star Destroyers and bases were all I ever knew. The Order was my _life_ , Ren," Before, Ren hadn't sounded like it used to in Hux's mouth but this time... It was like it was his title, again, not a name. A chill runs down his spine. "When we all parted ways, I hated the ships I was on. I need this, it's a part of me."

_It's home._

Ren nods. He understands, he does. He carries an old stun baton on his back, preferring that form of combat to blasters even now. Anything familiar that he could carry forward with him while not including the past he'd take.

Combat forms, a familiar but separate name... even Taidan.

"It looks like your office," Ren offers. "Do you still drink that Force awful tea?"

Taidan huffs, moving towards the doors on the left and opening them to reveal the cockpit. "Tarine tea is beautiful, bitter blend. I doubt your tastebuds are refined enough to appreciate it."

Ren follows after him, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, sure, I bet you still eat rations,"

He sits down heavily in the pilot's chair and starts flipping the switches to initiate the takeoff procedure, not looking at Ren. 

Ren dumps his bag and stun baton and sinks into the co-pilot seat, swiveling to look at Taidan. "You do still eat rations, don't you?" he grins. "What is it? Real food too spicy?"

"I get all the nutrition I need from rations, I don't need things that go off too quickly or are difficult to prepare. If you're in here, either co-pilot or get out of my hair."

He grabs the spare headset, settling in as the thrusters rumble and finally take them airbourne, heading up and away from the landing pad. "You know what, maybe I missed you."

"I can't say the same." he mutters.

///

Ren crashes on the sofa next to the kitchenette; it's not the same ice blue that Hux had had in his quarters but it's close, even the thrusters sound a little like the hum of a Destroyer. 

They're on route to wherever Taidan gets his jobs from and once the course had been set, Taidan had disappeared into his quarters with a curt 'Get some sleep'. Yet Ren can't sleep. He's staring at the ceiling, waiting to... wake up, almost. It doesn't feel real. How, in all of the galaxy, did he manage to stumble across Armitage 'Taidan' Hux again. Was it the Force or just coincidence? Was it for better or worse?

Turning his head, he can see streaks of light streaming past the transparasteel as they hurtle through space.

What kind of people had Taidan been mixing with? Other former-Order or just general dissenters? He supposes he'd find out soon.

A quiet sound reaches him from Taidan's room, a snore most likely. At least he was sleeping.

But then there's another. And another, louder this time.

Then a shout and Ren is up, calling the baton to him as he jams the door release.

He barely registers the small room fashioned after a destroyer's quarters, again, but is instead surprised to find Taidan is bed; nothing attacking him, just the sheets pooled around his waist, black tank stuck to his skin with sweat.

A dream, then, Ren is about to leave when Taidan shouts again. "No!" almost a whimper. "You can't do this!"

Slowly, almost out of body, Ren lowers the baton, inching closer. Taidan's face is screwed up, lip bitten raw.

"Taidan," he tries. Nothing. He rolls over again and kicks out. 

"Taidan!" he insists, taking his shoulder to shake him awake. In a flash, he's on the floor on his back, Taidan above him with a blade to his neck.

He doesn't breathe lest the blade break his skin but Taidan pants above him, hair matted with sweat and eyes wild.

Above him is Hux, the Starkiller. Rebranded, on the run, downgraded, perhaps, but the bloodlust is there. Ren can taste it; a metallic tang and a warm aftertaste. He knows it well.

Taidan blinks, takes a deep breath, and pushes himself up. He dumps the blade on the bed and runs a hand through his hair. "What do you want, Ren?"

"You were shouting in your sleep," he tells him, getting up slowly, treating Taidan like a wounded animal. "What were you dreaming about?"

"I don't remember,"

"That's a lie. What was it?"

Silence, the hum of engines, the whine of the conservator. "The Steadfast," he says eventually, barely heard above the ambience. "I can escape it most nights but... It's always the same. Pryde, my father... you. I'm prey, running down corridors, nobody will help."

Ren risks a step closer. "Taidan... I'm-"

He turns with a growl on his face and in his throat. "Say you're sorry and I'm spacing you," he snarls, jabbing his finger into Ren's chest. "It's your fault, all of this! The nightmare, the fall of the Order, you were never fit to be Supreme Leader. I lost everything because of you."

He scowls. "You wouldn't listen to me! We could've worked together but you never respected me!"

"No, I didn't," he retorts. "You didn't deserve my respect; being... _gifted_ doesn't mean that I have to worship the ground you walk on."

"So what did you want me to do? Just turn over the position to you?"

"Yes! Had I been Supreme Leader, the galaxy would have been brought into line long ago... You never cared about the Order."

"I cared about the Empire; I needed the Order to revitalise the Dark." he snarls.

"And what of the planets starving? Of the people forgotten by the Republic?"

Ren scoffs. "You took child soldiers! You hollowed out worlds and blew up others; don't try to act like you're good,"

"Not good, _right_ ," he counters with the same fervour he'd always had when talking about the Order. "Those children would have starved or crushed beneath the Republic; we gave them a new life, purpose!"

"You can't really believe that-"

"I do! I overhauled the programme, I decided which children to take! Now... if you have such an issue with my ideals and the fact that I have nightmares _because of you_ , I can drop you at the next Republic port and forget all about you. You asked to come along, remember that."

"You agreed to take me, you remember that."

"Just get out, let me sleep" Taidan snaps.

"Fine," he snaps back, slamming the door call on the way so it shuts behind him. Lying down, he prepares for yet more sleeplessness yet now he knows he'll only be able to think of Taidan's dreams...

///

He falls into a restless sleep at some point and wakes to Taidan throwing a ration pack onto his chest, jolting him awake.

"We're here; eat and wash up while I dock."

Ren scoffs down the ration, the chalky substance coating his mouth and filling his stomach with stodge. But it's food. The fresher is small but there's a sonic so he showers and climbs back into his worn clothes, the smell of oil and recycled air now ingrained into his skin anyway.

He comes into the cockpit as Taidan finishes docking, the ship rumbling as the clamps settle around the ship. 

The port is a standard off-white, fit with antennae and extended arms where the port had grown. Smaller ships buzz like insects around the main spherical hub while larger ships come and go, shooting off into the stars or appearing from them. Far below, a planet glistens with orange light of vast cities between dark oceans.

"Where are we?" he asks.

"Na'shkar, Port B-625,"

"Expansion? I didn't realise there were dissidents in the Expansion." he hums.

Taidan looks up at him from his seat. "We're everywhere," Ren doesn't miss how Taidan includes himself in the group now. "Get your baton, let's go."

///

Taidan still walks like an officer; head up, shoulders back, mouth ready to sneer at any moment. His steps are confident, a blaster on his thigh, one at his waist, a rifle on his back, and stars knew how many knives he had tucked away in his clothes; in his heavy combat boots, in the arms of his jacket, hidden in his waistband. Ren feels naked almost with just his baton and the blaster at his hip, even despite the Force he could still manipulate just enough to give himself an edge.

The further they go through the port, the durasteel walls sporting posters and signs for various shops on the port, who to call for quick ship servicing, and various other things, the less crowded it becomes, They veer away from the hightraffic areas and go lower and lower, eyes around them growing shadier.

"Where the kriff does your contact hang out, damn," Ren mutters.

"Away from prying eyes." is the only reply he gets.

Eventually Taidan stops besides a battered door and presses the call button. It opens a crack and he stares into the darkness past it before there's rattling and the door flings open. Before them is a humanoid male a little shorter than Taidan, dark hair messily cut short except for the two braids framing his face, not unlike Ren's own. On the whole, he looked human apart from his nose curling into a wide snout and two tusks jut up from the underbite of his jaw. Still, he seems eager to see Taidan.

"Tai! You're back!" he grins as much as he can around his tusks, ushering them through the door and closing it again before them. Once Ren's eyes adjust, he sees they're in a small lobby, of sorts, lit by small floating lamps with mismatched cushions on the floor, an arch leads to a barely lit corridor beyond where the xeno stands.

"Hello, Ye'leagh, can I get an audience?" Taidan answers easily, giving Ye'leagh a small smile.

"You can call me Ye'l, you know," he mumbles, scratching his neck and Ren wants to roll his eyes. Did this xeno even know who Taidan was? Did he realise just exactly who he was mooning over?

"Well, Ye'l," Taidan says lowly. "Is the Chair free?"

Ye'leagh nods quickly. "Karase is due in a local hour but... I'll push her back." 

"We won't be that long,"

Ye'leagh looks at Ren for the first time at this. "Who is 'we', anyway?" he asks, frowning a little, a green pearl of something bubbling up at the top of his left tusk.

Taidan glances at him and Ren arches an eyebrow. _'Oh yeah, this is the former Supreme Leader of the First Order who wanted me to listen to him but I wanted to kill him so he used my past against me and almost got me killed.'_

"This is an old associate of mine, trained just like me." he settles on.

Ye'leagh's eyes go wide. "Wow, another former trooper? I'm honoured, were you part of the second GX force? They're the ones who first brought the Order to us, freed us from the warlord and set up the factories!"

The zealousy of the boy makes Ren's stomach knot. Perhaps he'd never come to terms with the fact that the Order had helped, too, even if it had been just a small number. In their quest for power, perhaps the odd person had been helped; but so many more had lost their lives... "I wasn't, no, sorry." he tells him and his face falls ever so slightly.

"No matter, thank you for your service and... any friend of Tai's is a friend of mine," he smiles, turning his full attention back to Taidan. "Go on through, I'll comm in to say you're coming in."

"Thank you, Ye'l." Taidan says calmly, starting down the corridor.

Ren keeps step with him and waits a moment before whispering. "You've fucked him, haven't you?"

"Only twice, now let me do the talking." Taidan dismisses. He pauses for a moment before pushing open the door and stepping into the smoke filled room, low chattering coming from the few tables lining the room. More floating lanterns illuminate the space and a large trandoshan reclines on a larger chair at the other end of the room, one horn snapped away, her rough skin an even warmer hue in the orange lights of the lanterns.

A rough laugh escapes the predators maw. "Taidan! You're back!" 

"Chair Garak, I said I would. I trust you received my last transfer?"

"We did; the water distillers are already distributed and the credits you... skimmed are lining the pockets of more guard patrols."

Others were looking over now, Ren can see humans and xenos, humanoids and droids, all together, all watching. Taidan looks completely unphased, as if he were back on the Finalizer.

"That's good to hear, we dissidents need to stick together,"

Garak laughs, the others in the room follow suit. Ren rolls his shoulders, ready to grab his baton should he need to. "Is it 'we' now, Taidan? Are you finally going to accept my offer?"

Taidan shakes his head. "As much as I am a dissident, I'm afraid my time working for others is truly over. We're partners, I won't give that up."

The trandoshan shakes her head. "You'll join us someday, I'm sure... Maybe even lead us, should I fall,"

"Perhaps." Taidan agrees. Ren can sense he wants it, he wants to order again, wants to pull the strings. Had he even changed at all? Had Ren assumed too quickly that they both were on new paths? "Now, the next transport."

Holding up a hand, Garak nods to Ren. "Before that, who's your friend?"

Taidan glances at him quickly. "This is Ren, another former trooper,"

Garak's brow bone arches up. "Named after the Knights?"

"They were a formidable fighting force," Ren finally speaks up. He couldn't give his true reasons for retaining the name, but he could still tell them some truth. "I fought alongside them once, to carry this name reminds me of that."

"He's more sentimental than you, Tai, wherever did you find him?" she huffs a laugh.

"Unfortunately, he found me. Now, the transport?"

"All work and no play, as ever," she smiles and Taidan nods his head once. "Route I-9804 between Lothal and Eadu; Senator Laurel's mining operation is back up and running. From Eadu it'll slingshot to the Core, we need to grab it before they do that,"

"What's aboard the transport?"

"Nergon-14, enough to make torpedoes for an entire fleet." she says grimly.

"Pfassk, are they remilitarising?"

"From what I've heard from the Core, no, so this will either be a secret strike or a personal armoury; a _substantial_ personal armoury."

"Wait, Senator Laurel," Ren says, thinking back to the news holos he'd seen lately. "Isn't she... She believes in no advancement aid, right? What's produced in the Core and by the Core should stay in the Core?"

Garak nods and looks to Taidan. "Your friend knows what he's on about, I hope that'll help him keep up with you,"

"He'll try," Taidan deadpans.

Another guttural laugh that the room echos and Ren rolls his eyes. Taidan still had a fucking smart mouth, he wishes that xeno from before had bitten it off with his tusks. Taidan would probably be into that.

She holds out a padd for Taidan and he steps forward to take it, immediately flicking through it. "This is what Meskah could get us from Laurel's offices; you've got the ship plans and route, the crew number and how much Nergon-14 there is is just an estimate."

Taidan hums, passed Ren the padd and he looks at the route plan, too. "We'll get that Nergon-14. Normal Outer Rim outpost rondezvous?"

"Of course; do well and maybe you can take Ye'l with you next time." Ren looks up to find her sharp teeth on display in a wide grin.

Taidan laughs. "I'll think about it. I'll be in touch when we're done."

They leave as quickly as they'd arrived, Ye'l bidding Taidan a sweet goodbye as they go.

///

Ren waits until they're back at the ship before shaking his head, still clutching the padd tight. "What have you gotten yourself involved in?"

"A cause, one with the same goals as me," he answers, not looking at Ren as he takes them out of the port.

"Really? Cause to me they sound like separatists, they don't sound like they'll accept a single council rule."

"Perhaps for now, give me time."

A moment of silence and Ren sits down, staring out at open space as Taidan charts their course. "You haven't changed, have you? Just your name; you're still Hux." It's not a question.

"Of course I haven't changed, why should I? I could've brought the galaxy greatness, my plans have been delayed but I will further the work I started," he says casually, still keying code into the mainscreen. 

"What about the bad the Order did? What about Hosnia?"

"What about it?"

"You- _We_ , blew up five planets."

"For the greater good of the galaxy, you didn't seem bothered when it happened. And need I remind you of the planets you razed to bring them under Snoke's control," He looks at him sharply. "You can't lie to me, you wanted the Order's rule as much as I did. But you only thought of power, I thought of a legacy of equal opportunity across the expanse, an age like none before it."

Ren looks away, down at the padd he's holding. "Is it even still possible? The Empire was... flawed, too power driven, the Republics swallowed by greed, the Order gone..."

"So I should just give up?" Taidan scowls, finally jumping them into hyperspace. "I don't think so; I'll fight until I die. The Republic carpet bombed Arkanis, my mother... The Empire was not good to her, neither was the Republic, if naught else I'll do this for her."

That makes Ren pause. Hadn't he given up his saber for his own mother, hadn't he taken a different path for her? "Would she want this?"

He sighs deeply, head hanging low between his shoulders. "She'd tell me she trusted me, that I'd rise above Brendol, that people like her would crown me in gold. No matter what it takes, she'd say,"

"My mother tried to keep me from my destiny. I don't even know what my destiny was anymore,"

"You chose your path and had the opportunity to change; I never had that. Either you're onboard with this or you're not, pick one."

"I'm not Kylo Ren anymore,"

"And you're not Ben Solo,"

"I don't think I want an Empire but the Republic doesn't appeal to me either..." He felt lost again, back to square one. Constantly changing paths, he had no compass, no idea where he was even going anymore. What would Leia say, Han, Rey? They'd all support the Republic, no doubt, but the Republic had no place for the lost like him. "I... I can appreciate the separatist ideas, I suppose."

Taidan nods once. "I can work with that. Now, the plan..."

///

"Taidan, this is pfassking insane," he says, for the hundredth time, as they come out of hyperspace a few parsecs from the refueling station the transport is docked at.

"It's worked before, it'll work again," Taidan shrugs, checking his buzz rifle is loaded with fatality rounds.

"I thought you were a tactical genius?"

"Genius takes a bit of madness, especially when I don't have a whole fleet to command,"

Ren shakes his head. "And you're _sure_ this modded cloak will work?"

Taidan sighs. "Yes, Ren, I've used it before; now do you understand what I need you to do?"

"Oh yeah, I've gotta be the bait,"

"I wouldn't phrase it like that but I won't object to it, I just need you to stop anyone reaching the hangar while I tractor everything in,"

"I did listen-"

"That'd be a first-"

"Oh fuck you, why did I even come along?"

"I have no idea but you're here now," he zips up his compression suit and pulls on his helmet, the seal hissing as it locks into place. "As soon as the bay doors open-"

"Get the ship in position, tractor it, and jump out to keep them off your back, I've got it."

He nods once. "Don't fuck this up, Ren." he says as he leaves the common room to wait in the hangar, ready to go as soon as the doors open.

Ren takes the helm, brings them in under the belly of the larger transport, and settles them into the underside of the ship. The blue light of the cloak flashes from the dash but he expects alarms to go off at any second as the droids tasked with refueling the ship buzz around. 

But nothing happens. 

They settle into position and the crane-like arms keep working, no sentients in sight due to the bay being open to the vaccum. He locks onto the ship with a tractor, the stablest clamp they'd have during this. So not very stable at all.

He takes a deep breath and takes his own helmet, sliding it on and letting it seal before taking a breath, his long filling with pure, sweet oxygen.

Time to go.

He passes Taidan in the hangar and says nothing, simply powers up his stun baton and hits the door release, propelling himself with the Force to land and roll on the hangar floor of the transport. The Nergon-14 is in rows, each vial as tall as his chest and as thick as his body, he hopes Taidan's tractor blaster has got enough juice in it to do it all.

The alarms blare then, the system detecting a sentient in the hangar, and Ren has no time to worry about Taidan anymore, just to think about what he needs to do. The droids seem unbothered but he quickly gets through the decompression chamber to wait for the crew who were no-doubt barreling towards him.

The first, a human woman, comes from the corridor to his right. "You, stop there!" she cries and fires her blaster, he raises his baton as if it were his saber and deflects it and the rest that follow. He gets into close quarters and knocks her down, she screams as she goes, even louder than the alarms, the smell of her singing clothes and skin not reaching him through the helmet.

He takes her blaster and shoots her once she's down; no risks.

The next guards are a pair and he manages to shoot one before they get a shot off and swings his baton to catch the other guard in the side of his face, shooting his stomach as he goes down.

The alarms continue to buzz in his ears but the huffing of his breath overpowers them, his breath fogging the transparasteel on the inside of his mask.

More crew come but it's barely a challenge; he'd have been able to take them all down even without the Force, he's sure. Maybe he'll tell Taidan that just to annoy him. One man gets close to singing his suit but, unfortunately for him, he's in close quarters already, and Ren simply headbuts him. He collapses like a falling building from the force and weight.

"Let's go, Ren!" Taidan comes over the suit's comm and he fires at the last of the crew making their way towards him as he goes becak through the compression chamber.

The ship is already moving, hangar doors still open, and Ren runs for it. He pants, legs screaming, as he tears across the hangar and jumps. For a moment, he worries he'll be sucked into the vacuum, finally dead, but then he's landing amid the Nergon-14, rolling over to watch the bay doors close and the ship dart out, immediately jumping to hyperspace.

He laughs, pulling off the helmet as the hangar recompresses. The adrenaline hums under his skin, his senses are heightened, it's almost like he has his full control of the Force back. He feels... alive! For the first time in so long, he feels good and right and... free! Before the feeling passes, he heads into the common rooms and finds Taidan without his own helmet, on the padd Garak had given them.

"We did it!" he grins, the past awkward tensions and questions gone from his mind. "Your crazy-ass plan worked! I didn't even need to use the Force, they were so poorly trained and barely any of the crew even came-"

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself but I need to message Garak-"

Ren gets close, takes him by the shoulders. "Don't you see? We worked together... You said one run-"

"You've also been moping around my ship and-"

"But we did it, we did it!"

Taidan blinks slowly. "I suppose we did. So... you want to stay? Even though you don't care about the Order?"

"I care about this, about- about- doing _something_. I'm not Order, I'm not Republic, I'm still looking for my path but this is a start. I know it. I can _feel_ it."

"That's... that's good, I suppose. I don't have the opportunity to be picky about allies, right now,"

Ren huffs a small laugh. "You can kill me in the future, think of it as an IOU,"

"Careful, Ren, I might just take you up on that," he deadpans.

"I know you will, maybe i can prove myself before then." He lets go of Taidan but slaps him on the shoulder as he and the Knights used to, once. "And... for what it's worth, I'm... I'm sorry I brought Pryde back into your life. Maybe I have more to prove than I originally thought."

They're so close, he can see the pale eyelashes lining Taidan's eyes.

"Ren..." 

He shakes his head, taking a step back and trying to right himself. He felt like he'd just fallen through a turbolift shaft. "Message Garak, I'm sure she'll want to hear. I'm gonna go shower, see you on the other side." He retreats quickly, letting out a long breath when he gets to the fresher. Closing his eyes, all he can see is Taidan; shorn hair at the sides, stubble, that scar on his cheek, but the same sharp eyes he'd looked into for five years. Still unflinching.

Fuck, maybe he was in over his head.

**Author's Note:**

> I've worked all weekend on these three fics to finally get them up. This one was written half asleep so please forgive any wonkiness.
> 
> twitter: [@ReluctantAwe](twitter.com/ReluctantAwe)  
> tumblr: [@reluctantly-awesome](reluctantly-awesome.tumblr.com)


End file.
